Thanks, Boss

Let me see if I can remember how to do this.....??? I have been so blessed since I last visited with you back in the summer of '09. That sounds so long ago, but believe me, the time has sprinted by and all I could do is stand amazed. I will try to bring you up to speed on what's been going on in the life of this country girl.

After I graduated from the Clinical Pastoral Education program at New Hanover Regional, I was able to continue my service there as a Unit Clerk in the NICU. It was a good job and I loved the people I was able to work with but not being in hospital ministry any longer, I felt like a fish out of water. I was only able to get 24 hours a week so needless to say, something had to give. I had been applying at various other institutions, all non-ministry positions, and nothing was happening. I ventured out of the county and found there were two openings for Clinical Chaplain II positions in prison settings. Now, let me be the first to tell you that prison ministry had never been an option for me. Actually, I had never even given that role a thought in the processes of my mind when it came to seeking a ministry position. Oh, I looked for hospital chaplain jobs and corporate chaplain jobs, but prison? That was one place I had tried to avoid - and my parents were real proud I had done so.

However, I felt a strong calling to apply. I received a phone call from Harnett Correctional Institution a few days after the closing date for applications and followed through with the interview. When I left the interview, I was so disappointed. That was by far, the worst interview I had ever given. I was totally unprepared for some of the questions they asked and thanked God for the opportunity on the way home, but chalked it up to experience. Before I ever reached home, I received a call from NCCIW, which is the women's prison in Raleigh. They offered me a chance to interview for the same position and I gladly accepted thinking I would be ready this time.

I went to Raleigh, went through the interview, walked out on a cloud. I was good! :) I had studied up on the questions, which were very much like the ones previous, and I had great answers. Drove home with sites of Raleigh in my head. You see, Raleigh is a women's prison and Harnett is a men's prison. I was pretty sure they wouldn't hire a woman chaplain in a men's prison so I was glad the Raleigh interview went so well.

A couple of weeks went by and I heard nothing from anyone. I wasn't surprised about not hearing from Harnett but I thought I would hear from Raleigh by now. My references had called me and said both facilities had inquired about me so I was wondering what was going on. By this time, I had set my sites on Raleigh and then the phone rang!!!! It was Harnett. Harnett? "Did you say Harnett?" They were offering me a job. A real, honest-to-goodness chaplain job. So what do you think I did? I told them I'd have to call them back. Did I want to work in a men's prison?

Let me just tell you, when God goes to work, there is no stopping him. I accepted the job a few days later and have been the chaplain for Harnett Correctional since January 4th and I couldn't be more pleased. For the first time in my ministry I feel I am using the education and skills God has given me to the fullest extent of service. When we get out of the way and allow God to do the work, it is amazing. I watch him work daily in the lives of these men and feel so blessed that he has allowed me to play a role. Thanks, boss.




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The Summer of 2009

Good gracious. Has it been almost 3 months since I last posted. Where did the summer go? Well, let me just tell ya. After Patrick got married, it seemed like the summer started rolling and gained speed as the days went on. We had youth camp which was a great time, then we had Bible School, then Carowinds and in the midst of all that I was finishing up my last unit of CPE. Now THAT was an experience.

What is it about ministering to the needs of patients, families and staff that awakens you to your own spiritual needs? I found that so many times I would hide from my own feelings and use the excuse that someone else needed me more than I needed to seek out the underlying emotions that were stirring in my own being.

I worked with some terrific folks this year. We were a true team. Not a week went by that one of us didn't need another one of us to either take the pager for a few hours or swap a day here and there. And for the most part, the changes were made without much thought. We respected each other and that made for a great year.

My co-chaplains have been engraved in my heart as friends forever.

Cecelia Beck (seated right) is a newly commissioned missionary by the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship and is beginning her work in Shelby, NC.

Barbara Evans (seated left) is a 35 year veteran of New Hanover Regional Medical Center and will continue her service there as an associate chaplain and a monitor tech as well as serve as a prison minister.

Laura Joost-Kuhn (standing left) has traveled back home to Oregon where she is awaiting God's call.

And Fernando Morales ( standing center) is in Orlando, Florida in search of a Chaplain position with a healthcare facility in that area.

Please remember these fine folks in prayer as they seek God's call on their lives.

I'm a Mother-In-Law

I think this is a sign of getting older, but I now have a daughter-in-law.  Being the mother of two sons, I felt this day would come eventually and to be perfectly honest, I never dreaded the day, but I did think it would be later rather than sooner.

My boys are the light of my life.  I have loved being a mom more than any other profession I have ever had, but both of them will tell you that I wasn't a pushover. Having been a single mom for most of their childhood, I had to be mom and dad and most of the time the disciplinarian "dad" side showed through more than the nurturing, coddling mom I would have rather been.  Because we were a family of three when Daniel was 4 and Patrick was 18 months, we all sort of grew up together.  I was working at Pinehurst at the Members Club and trying to keep two children in daycare and make ends meet.  It was one of the hardest times of my life but in hindsight, it was one of the most precious times of my life.  Because they were so young, it didn't take much to entertain them so afternoons were spent playing baseball in the front yard with a plastic bat and ball.

Now, 20 years later, they're all grown up.  Daniel will be 25 in July and today is Patrick's 22nd birthday.  He spent his 21st birthday in the sands of Iraq fighting for our freedom. Today, he spends his birthday in the islands of the Bahamas on his honeymoon.  Happy Birthday, Patrick! My favorite Marine. 

Month 3

Can you believe it's already Springtime?  I wonder where the time goes.  I know there are still 24 hours in a day and so many days in each month and so on, but it does seem to fly by.  I have to believe it's because we don't stop and take time to "smell the roses" so to speak.

During some of our seminars in CPE we have been dealing with Family Systems Theory.  I never took those courses in grad school because it wasn't needed for my degree and I quite frankly didn't want to know all about me.  LOL  However, during the last few weeks, I have learned a lot.  One being triangulation.  Now, I didn't stay "Strangulation" which is sometimes more fun that the other.  Learning to take oneself out of the triangle is harder than swimming upstream for me, but I have linked it to something I can relate to and it seems to be helping.  Notice I said "helping" and not working.

Over the past 3 months I have had to learn how to eat and more importantly, what to eat.  There are some things I just can't tolerate even now.  So, I try to stay away from it because it physically hurts me.  I still can't eat breakfast meats.  I guess because of the fat content, I may never be able to eat breakfast meats.  But, is this a bad thing?  I don't think so.  We do tend to eat things and not realize the long term effect it has on our bodies.  If you fry a piece of bacon, take the bacon out of the pan and let the pan cool, the grease from the bacon sets up and becomes the consistency of paste.  Can you imagine this stuff lining your stomach walls?  Yuck! 

Having given you this lovely look into your stomach after breakfast, let me see if I can bring this together.  All that grease makes me physically hurt, so, I don't eat it to avoid pain.  Being in a triangle in a family system hurts, so I am trying diligently to stay out of it.  Is it working?  Not always.  I'm a very opinionated woman and if you don't want to know what I think, then it best that you not ask.  But given the physical and emotional pain of being in the triangle, maybe it's just as well we back away from it just like we should back away from the bacon.

BTW - 3 months and 51 lbs. and counting.  Thanks for your support.

Month 2

When I first decided to do this surgery thing, I thought the procedure would be one of the hardest parts.  In relationship to the past 2 months, the surgery was a piece of cake. I have healed nicely and have no problems from the surgery itself.  The challenge is finding something I can eat now that I've reached the point where I can have anything I can tolerate while staying within the grams of fat and sugar boundaries.

Each week I try to add something new to my diet and each week I end up throwing something up.  It's a fact that I am not able to tolerate dairy products.  Macaroni and Cheese was one of my favorite dishes, but not any more.  I used to love a cold glass of milk, but no more.  A grilled cheese sandwich is a quick meal with a bowl of tomato soup, or it used to be.  Finding things I can eat and not get sick in the process has been a challenge.  The foods I loved in the past have now been moved to the "Not Right Now" column of foods that used to show up on our grocery list.

One reason for the change in food choices is the fact that I must chew everything very well in order for it to sit well in the new pouch a.k.a my stomach.  The more I chew, the worse it tastes, so I eat less.  Have you ever chewed a piece of baked chicken 127 times?  If you did, you'd never eat it again.  

Since I take in far less solid food, the liquid protein drinks are still very much a part of my life.  However, if you add unflavored protein whey to Tropicana Light Orangeade it tastes just like a Dreamsicle.  This is not a bad thing!  And, it satisfies my sweet tooth.

It's been 2 months and I've lost 41 pounds.  Needless to say my pants don't fit anymore.  This is a good and bad thing.  Good that I'm down 4 sizes but not good that I need to buy clothes before my goal has been met.  Thank goodness for friends who have gone through this and are passing down their clothes.  :)

The challenge continues.  So what do you do?  You find something you can tolerate and stick to it.  Yay for rice and shrimp!

 

New Year's Resolution - Lose Weight

I can't believe it's been 3 months since I last blogged.  I guess I didn't realize just how time consuming this residency was going to be.

It's been a very interesting journey and I have learned so much about myself.  But one thing I learned about myself was that I wasn't happy with me, physically.  So, I decided to do something about it.

I have dieted ALL my adult life.  You name it, and I've tried it.  Fastin, Meridia, Xenecal, Phen-Phen, etc.  A few years ago I ventured in to a Diet Clinic in Myrtle Beach and was successful with the weight loss for as long as I took a handful of pills everyday.  Besides the fact that it was expensive, I just didn't like putting all those pills inside me everyday and I wasn't learning anything about how to eat.

As you know, I have two adult sons and one is in the Marines.  When he was overseas, I was reminded that life was short enough without having a death sentence.  Being overweight is a death sentence.  I had high blood pressure, my cholesterol was creeping up every time I went to the doctor for blood work and it was becoming harder and harder to walk without being out of breath.  

I had given thought to surgery but wasn't completely sold on it until a friend of mine from church did it and was quite successful.  I began to do massive research on Gastric By-pass and found it was the safest surgery in the country as far as death but also one of the most effective as far as permanent weight loss.

The only way I was going to lose weight and keep it off was to change my lifestyle and my eating habits.  But because my will power is pitiful at this stage in my life, I knew the surgery would force me to "follow the rules".  

After a short battle with my husband, my first appointment was scheduled for October of 2008.  There were some tests and requirements that had to be met before I could continue through the process.  I didn't have sleep apnea, so that test was not required for me but for some, it is a necessary step.  I was required, however, to go through a psychiatric evaluation and attend 2 nutritional classes.  (For those of you who are wondering, yes, I passed the psyche exam)

The nutrition classes told us what to expect during the coming weeks of pre-surgery and helped us to begin thinking what we would have to do to prepare our bodies for this surgery.  The 2nd class prepared us for the days, weeks, and months ahead AFTER surgery.

December 22nd, 2008 I underwent Gastric By-Pass.  I came home on the 23rd and led the Christmas Eve service on the 24th.  Now, it hasn't been an easy road because I am still having to teach myself to chew slowly, eat small bites and watch fat grams and sugar intake, but so far, so good.

It's been a month and I've lost 29 lbs.

I have to take in 50 grams of protein in liquid form, take 2 children's vitamins and 1500 mg of Calcium Citrate everyday and this will be for the rest of my life.  I can't eat more than 1/4 to 1/2 cup at each meal and I will forever have to watch what I eat, but to add 12 years to my life and be able to live to see my grandchildren, it will all be worth it.

This is one New Year's Resolution I will keep.

Another Policeman Story

At New Hanover Regional Medical Center we have these wonderful name badges that have 50 other things attached to the plastic clip that attaches to our clothing. I have the picture badge that contains a chip that will access any electronic door in the hospital. It has a card with all the codes listed and the appropriate response to a fire, code pink and a chemical spill. There is a card with all the necessary phone numbers that a chaplain would need along with all the other chaplain page numbers. It has a card with the NHRMC standards for communication and compassion ownership and teamwork. There is even a card with nothing on it but is of a greenish color so everyone who sees us will know we have been employed for less than 90 days. All of these badges collectively hang from a plastic loop that snaps into place with a nice name plate that proclaims CHAPLAIN in big letters. Some of us even have a key hanging from our badges that will give us access to the on-call office, the resident's office, and the all-important sleep room.

Needless to say, when this collection of important material is hanging from your clothing, it's a big heavy obstruction, so when I get in the car, it's usually one of the first things that comes off. Second only to my shoes.

For some reason on Tuesday of this past week, I didn't take it off. I guess I was in a hurry to get to Lowe's to give Daniel, my son, the card for his girlfriend's birthday so I could get home. It had been a super long day.

So, I'm traveling down my usual path to Lowe's on College Street from the hospital and get to the back street to turn in to Lowe's. There are huge barriers in the road, with the sign "ROAD CLOSED". It was closed the week before, but I thought maybe it would be re-opened by now. No such luck. On the one other occasion I had to go around this street, I had made a short cut through a bank parking lot to get to my destination so I thought I would do the same thing this day. The only difference was the bank was open now. But, I turned in, made my way around the parking lot and was heading out the back entrance when a policeman stopped the car in front of me. I wondered what he was telling us, so I rolled down my window in preparation for his rehearsed speech. As I sat, I heard the policeman ask the driver ahead of me if he had business with the bank. The driver told him he did not, and the policeman told him he could not use the driveway for through traffic and would have to turn around and go back out to the street.

DANG!!!! Here I was in a hurry and now I would have to turn around, maneuver through the traffic at the bank, get back on a busy street and go all the way to College to get to my destination. Another 15 minutes wasted.

After the car ahead of me pulled off and turned around, it was my turn to hear the words of the officer. He waved me to a stop, looked in the car, said, "Have a nice day, Chaplain" and waved me through.

Maybe I won't complain about the weight of the badge ever again. And I definitely won't cut through the bank parking lot EVER again.