Another Policeman Story

At New Hanover Regional Medical Center we have these wonderful name badges that have 50 other things attached to the plastic clip that attaches to our clothing. I have the picture badge that contains a chip that will access any electronic door in the hospital. It has a card with all the codes listed and the appropriate response to a fire, code pink and a chemical spill. There is a card with all the necessary phone numbers that a chaplain would need along with all the other chaplain page numbers. It has a card with the NHRMC standards for communication and compassion ownership and teamwork. There is even a card with nothing on it but is of a greenish color so everyone who sees us will know we have been employed for less than 90 days. All of these badges collectively hang from a plastic loop that snaps into place with a nice name plate that proclaims CHAPLAIN in big letters. Some of us even have a key hanging from our badges that will give us access to the on-call office, the resident's office, and the all-important sleep room.

Needless to say, when this collection of important material is hanging from your clothing, it's a big heavy obstruction, so when I get in the car, it's usually one of the first things that comes off. Second only to my shoes.

For some reason on Tuesday of this past week, I didn't take it off. I guess I was in a hurry to get to Lowe's to give Daniel, my son, the card for his girlfriend's birthday so I could get home. It had been a super long day.

So, I'm traveling down my usual path to Lowe's on College Street from the hospital and get to the back street to turn in to Lowe's. There are huge barriers in the road, with the sign "ROAD CLOSED". It was closed the week before, but I thought maybe it would be re-opened by now. No such luck. On the one other occasion I had to go around this street, I had made a short cut through a bank parking lot to get to my destination so I thought I would do the same thing this day. The only difference was the bank was open now. But, I turned in, made my way around the parking lot and was heading out the back entrance when a policeman stopped the car in front of me. I wondered what he was telling us, so I rolled down my window in preparation for his rehearsed speech. As I sat, I heard the policeman ask the driver ahead of me if he had business with the bank. The driver told him he did not, and the policeman told him he could not use the driveway for through traffic and would have to turn around and go back out to the street.

DANG!!!! Here I was in a hurry and now I would have to turn around, maneuver through the traffic at the bank, get back on a busy street and go all the way to College to get to my destination. Another 15 minutes wasted.

After the car ahead of me pulled off and turned around, it was my turn to hear the words of the officer. He waved me to a stop, looked in the car, said, "Have a nice day, Chaplain" and waved me through.

Maybe I won't complain about the weight of the badge ever again. And I definitely won't cut through the bank parking lot EVER again.

Outreach vs. Evangelism

I looked up the word "outreach" and it wasn't until definition #6 that I got the one I believed "outreach" to be. It says, "the act of extending services, benefits, etc., to a wider section of the population, as in community work."

Our church held a Block Party today in the sub-division where a couple of church members live. It just so happened that David and I live in the same sub-division but I think the reason it was held here was because it's the closet one to our church. We had a great time. Hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, potato salad, drinks and all the trimmings. The burgers and dogs were cooked on a huge charcoal grill that smelled up the whole neighborhood. Some of the residents brought desserts and we all brought chairs.

We had been "trained" in the block party idea so as not to evangelize as we met new friends. In fact, there was a thought that David and I might not need to go so folks wouldn't feel as if this was, in fact, an invitation to come to our church. But, as it turned out, only one couple knew who we were and what we did.

As the afternoon went on, a live band from our church played on the porch of the hosting family and I think everyone had a good time. There was even a little shaggin' going on in the grass and face painting on the side. Baptists dancing? OH MY.

All this to say, outreach is a great way to exhibit the command given to us by Jesus in that we should love one another and reach out to those that might not know him and we can do it without saying a word. As a result, a couple asked us about our church and will be attending tomorrow.

"Ain't" God good?

Planning/Budgeting Retreat

This year our Youth Council and their parents headed to the beach for a Planning/Budgeting Retreat. Our church year, like most church years, start in October so we needed to decide what we wanted to do for the coming year.Coming up with the activities wasn't a problem, but we had to figure out how to pay for our play so we did a little budget planning as well.

We spent our days playing either outside on the beach or inside playing board games, reading books, or watching TV. It was a time to do just exactly whatever made you happy (within the confines of the beach house or on the sand in front of the ocean front house) as long as it was relaxing and stress free.

We got our planning done and figured out how to pay for it so I thought I would share a few of the wonderful shots of just how we spent our time:


Oh, by the way ... we do live at the beach but so seldom do we get to relax and enjoy what's in our own backyard. Needless to say, this retreat was put on the calendar for next year as well.

Reunion Time

This past Saturday I attended a mini-reunion of my graduating class. At the risk of giving away my age, it was our 30th Class Reunion. 30 years!!! I can't believe I've been out of high school that long. It seems only a few weeks ago I graduated from Campbell. OH, IT WAS!!!! But some of us wait a little longer to try to do something with our lives, and that would be ME!

Anyway, back to the reunion.

I went to school in Richmond County in North Carolina. Our county was made up of four Jr. High schools and those four Jr. High schools came together to form one high school. Richmond Senior High School, home of the Richmond Raiders, 4-A Football Powerhouse. Hence the real reason there was only one high school. Our class was so large. We graduated with 556 people in our class. We started with over 700 but we had one particular English teacher that probably could be one of the reasons for the decrease.

Because our class was so large some of us don't take advantage of the "every 5 year" reunion opportunities simply because we don't know the folks that attend so the Ellerbe Jr. High School group decided to have our own reunion.

It was so nice to see the ones that attended. We didn't have a large group because of some trying to get in that last summertime vacation before schools start, but we had enough to sit and remember. It was fun to hear what folks had been up to for the last 30 years, how many grandchildren had been born to the group, how many had achieved their life-long dreams and those that had not. The best part was being able to renew the friendships we enjoyed so long ago.

The one thing that prompted this "reunion" was the fact that one of our own had mini strokes which led to a surgery that involved a major stroke on the table. We were reminded in an instant that we won't live forever and we should keep in touch with those who were such an important part of lives at one time. If you haven't seen or talked to some of your "old" friends in a while, do it now. You never know if it will be the last time.

God has put folks in our path throughout our lives for a reason. Cherish them and let them know how much they mean to you. You'll be glad you did.

My New Job

Well, it's official! I am going to be working as a resident Chaplain at New Hanover Regional Medical Center. You may remember my earlier blogs where I spoke of such experience during the last semester Div school. It was a rewarding experience and knew then that God had placed me in that place for a reason. For a little while I thought the reason was so I wouldn't have to take Supervised Ministry under Dr. Brock, but now I know better.

In a recent conversation with my mother, I realized there were some paths I could have taken that would have led me far FAR away from where I am now in my walk with God. I'm not sure God and I are hand in hand all the time, but I'm not too many steps behind him on the path of my life. If I had chosen other ways, I'm not sure I would even be on the path. So, God is good and God is patient.

I've stayed busy over the summer but nothing of any great worth, which I might add, was my intention. I didn't want to have to do anything after graduating so, I didn't. I have successfully gotten a good tan, which was a goal and I have laid out my hours at the church so that my part-time status doesn't actually take up 50 hours of my week. This is good.

Now, I am in the planning mode for my new job. I'm one of those weird Chaplains that gets excited when her pager goes off. Not because someone is in crisis, but because I have an opportunity to minister to someone. So, on August 25th I will begin my new journey. But until then..... I'm off to beach to keep working on this tan.

My husband posted this on his blog but I thought it was good enough to share with my readers as well.

"We are held Vacation Bible School (VBS) a week ago and on Wednesday night there was a very special moment near the conclusion of the session. There was a skit that featured a song in which the most prominent line is the refrain "Come to Jesus." As the song began Jesus came walking down the center aisle of the sanctuary.

Okay, it wasn't really Jesus. It was a man named Rick portraying Jesus. He has long hair and he let his beard grow out for the skit so he looked much like popular portraits of Jesus. Rick also wore a costume like Jesus might have worn. He really looked the part.

The skit was included in our VBS material and it featured "Jesus" hugging and helping various people who were previously selected to come forward as recorded singers continued singing "Come to Jesus" and the children did the sign language to the song. That's the way it was supposed to happen, but things didn't quite work out as planned.

As "Jesus" came down the aisle many of the children could be heard whispering loudly. "It's Jesus!" When people began coming forward and getting hugs from "Jesus" several children who were not part of the script also went to receive hugs from him. Rick handled this very well, staying in character he hugged all comers.

When the program was over Rick was still in costume and he and I
David were talking at the back of the sanctuary away from the children. But a crowd of kids came and huddled around him asking many questions. They wanted to know if Rick was really Jesus. Again Rick handled the situation with Spirit-led ease. He explained the he was not Jesus but that Jesus was with them all the time. The children wanted to know if his long hair was real and Rick let them tug on it.

Perhaps the highlight of the experience was an energetic little girl named Chloe who is three years old. I was at the doors making sure the children were picked up by parents when Chloe's father arrived. She jumped in to her daddy's arms and then began to slide down, scampering about. Chloe just about dragged him into the sanctuary repeating over and over, "Daddy you've got to come and see!" The confused father went with her.

While her father stood near one side of the sanctuary, Chloe ran toward "Jesus" who was now front and center of the sanctuary chatting with some folks. "Jesus" looked at Chloe as she rushed toward him and she motioned toward her father and said, "This is my Daddy!"

Rick smiled and said, "What's your Daddy's name?"

"Daddy." Chloe responded and we all chuckled. Then, still looking at Jesus, Chloe said, "Give him a hug."

Rick said, "Sure." Then he walked toward the man with his arms spread and the two met in an embrace at the front of the sanctuary. Chloe looked very pleased and there were numerous damp eyes around.

Later Rick said that he is going to have to be extra careful about his behavior whenever he is out and about because some of those kids might be around looking at him like he is Jesus."

VBS workers were still abuzz about the skit and the response of the children, especially Chloe the next night. I decided to bring "Jesus" back for the commencement program on Friday evening.

What would happen if we all had the excitement of "seeing" Jesus? Would we want to run up and hug him? I think sometimes I get so wrapped up in my "job" I sometimes forget to stop and remember ... I love Jesus!

The Summer, So Far.....

Wow. Can you believe the summer is half over? I usually gauge the half-way point at July 4th, so in accordance to my timetable, it's half over.

I was trying to think of something I had done that would be classified as constructive since the summer began and for the life of me, it's just not happening.

I was a bit ambitious at the beginning of the summer and got the kitchen painted, but in order to get the floor put down, I have to FINISH and that would require me getting the laundry room painted, too. Details, details.

I have been to camp with the youth, which was an experience and am getting ready for VBS which will be another experience. Then we're off to Busch Gardens in August. Sounds like a fun-filled summer, huh?

In the midst of all that I have visited the beach, ONCE!!!! I LIVE HERE FOR GOODNESS SAKES. You would think this would be a given, but, that would be a big NOT.

I'm still searching for the job that is intended for me. After 27 applications later, I still wait.

Maybe I'll go to the beach while I wait.

See ya!

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGETY JIG

We're back, safe and sound. Well, safe anyway.

What a week. Last year was a great time at PASSways so we decided to go again. We were a little critical about the happenings this year because we had something to compare it to, but all in all, it was a great week. The young people and us adults were made aware of the millions of people in the world that are hungry, deprived of health care and education, and are shut out because of their gender.

I am thankful that the young people we took to camp have been in church since the day they were born, just about, and they knew all the biblical references for the daily thought, but the statistics were a little overwhelming for them. We viewed 5 of the 8 Millennium Development Goals better known as MDGs for the week.

Each night after the day's events, we would meet in our room for devotions. These young people had some great ideas as to how to help eliminate hunger and how to improve health care and educate those in need.

God has done a great work in these young people and I am proud to be their youth minister.

WE'RE AT CAMP

We're here and already having a great time.

Our young people and two of us older young people pulled out today for a week at PassWAYS camp at Wingate University in Wingate, NC.

Tonight was packed with lots of introductions and getting to know our Bible Study group. I will send a few pictures for our moms and dads and will update on our activities as the week progresses.

Camp Time

It's almost time for Youth Camp and I'm so excited. We will leave next Sunday, Father's Day, to head to PASSways in Wingate, NC. Last year was our first year at this camp and we really enjoyed it.

Now, it's not like camps of the past. I remember going to youth camp at Caswell and we had to take our own food, plan our own program, lead our own program, and NO AIR CONDITIONING. Then the camp scene became a little more organized and we would go to camps where the camp itself would provide the staff and the meals and all we had to do was get there. But, still NO AIR CONDITIONING.

Then as I got older and out of the youth program, there came along camps such as Centrifuge where all you had to do was show up. Everything was taken care of and the adults weren't responsible for much at all. I never went, because I had aged out and was not yet old enough to be a chaperon but the ones that did go, had a great time.

Now we have found Passport. What a great camp. We introduced our youth to it several years ago via videotape but they didn't seem too interested at the time. Last year, we were made aware of changes that had been made in the curriculum and in the entire make up of the camp. PASSways is now made up of choices the young people make in sync with their interest levels. Last year there were 5 and this year there are 7. You choose to spend the week doing some kind of mission work or learning about your call to ministry or how to see ministry through the arts. It's great. Here we are ALL part of God's plan to work for him.

Not to mention we stay in apartments on campus with AIR CONDITIONING!!!

While some of you will be at the CBF Convention in Memphis, we will be involved in teaching young people as we countdown God's blessings in their lives and ours.

Peace.

What Now?

The festivities of graduation are over and reality has set in. What do I do now? I have searched the Internet for full-time jobs and to my not-so-amazement, there are none for someone with my experience and my education. So, the ultimate question is, "Was it worth it?"

I had a great time, I studied hard, most of the time, and sacrificed a pretty good chunk of time and energy for the last 4 and a half years, but now what? I have a part-time job in a church doing music and youth, which I completely enjoy and fill called to, but part-time jobs don't put gas in my car anymore. I need a weekday job with 40 hours so I can keep my church job. But here's the catch:

I'm qualified for ministry positions and not much else. So, where do you find a full-time ministry position and still be able to keep the one you've got? Or do I keep the one I have?

I'm so confused. I admire my classmates who are getting acclimated into new ministry positions with new starts in new places. But, I guess I will have to sit back and wait to see what God has in store for me.

In the meantime, I will continue to listen to David say, "When are you going to get a real job" as I inspect rental houses this summer. Maybe going up and down flights of stairs all summer long will make me lean and mean. LOL Ok, so I'm half-way there....

Graduation Day

I see that my classmates and I are a little sluggish about posting about the weekend filled graduation festivities. I checked around to see, who, if anyone, had posted anything about this past weekend and found ONE. Dr. C had written about his regalia which is quite interesting. You can tell he's real fond of wearing them from the picture stage left. His comments come from a new professor who just isn't in to the robe wearing mindset yet. Dr. Harmon says to go easy on him, he's still new. HA HA HA HA

This was my second Campbell graduation. I walked the first time in May 1995 after finishing my undergraduate degree in December of '94. It wasn't something I would have done if it had not been for my children. Walk, not gone back to school, that is. This time was not too different. The main difference was I was in the back of the line instead of in the front. The Divinity School was the very last group to receive their scrolls from Dr. Jerry Wallace so you can imagine our interest levels by the time we were called.

The speaker was, well, what can I say? Not sure, so I won't. But to listen to 450 names before ours was a little more than we wanted to sit through. So, we found other things to engage our thoughts. We learned of upcoming events in the lives of those we might not have been otherwise privy. I actually sat beside a man whom I had not had a single class with, that I know of, and knew very little about him. By the time our names were called, we were pretty good friends.

We had a new style of robe this year for the first time, and if the comments are listened to, this will be the last year. They were just below being tacky. (This is my blog and this is my opinion). By the time I had worn it twice, the sleeves were coming apart. But besides the cheap-made robe, we were intrigued with the "pockets" at the end of our sleeves. Not to go in empty-handed, we put bottles of bubbles in the pockets. It helped to keep them from flopping in the wind.

But, as Dr. Wallace finished up the ceremony, the bubbles found their way out of our sleeves and blowing in the wind. Hey, don't laugh. We made the paper. Sometimes you just have to make your own fun. Like when our names were put on the ground in the Academic Mall to mark our place in line.....YES, that is MY name. I was right beside the only hydrant in the yard. My classmates thought that was quite funny and even though I didn't mark my territory, Campbell will always be a part of me.

Taaaaaaaaa Dahhhhhhhhhhhhh

The day is finally here. The one I have been waiting for since January. The semester is officially over and I am through with graduate school.

Technically, the semester has been over for me since Tuesday of this week but I was hesitant to celebrate since the grades weren't posted. In fact, the grades still aren't posted, but because I have a dear friend in the office at the school, she informed me of the contents of my mailbox and I have received 2 of the 4 papers I have been waiting for and they were fine. So, now, I celebrate.

But wait, what am I celebrating? Campbell University has been part of my life for many years. I did most of my undergradute at Campbell and graduated in 1994. (I was old then, too.) and then 10 years later, I re-entered the halls of Taylor to begin the journey of a Master's degree. I do celebrate the accomplishments made possible by God and by my family.

I started the grad program in 2004. I was a single mother but with both my children out of the house. It was just Maxie and me (see previous post). That was pretty tough because I had to hold down a full-time job, the part-time church job AND go to Campbell one day a week. I thank my employers for allowing me to do this. After David and I got married, I worked a full-time job, the part-time church job, went to Campbell and tried to settle in to a different life-style.

The time came when I had to go to Campbell 2 days a week instead of one and this made it almost impossible to hold a full-time job, so I made a choice to just do school and church. Because of David's patience and willingness to say, "We'll make it the best we can" God allowed me to do just that. So, officially, in front of the world, I say, Thank you, David.

Celebrate? I now leave the friends I have made over the last 4 and a half years, I leave Elaine, who's willingness to "be there for me" has been unbelievable, I leave the halls of Taylor to David who will begin his doctoral studies in August and I have to find a full-time job.

Celebrate? I don't think so.

Dog Stories

I've been reading blogs from folks I regularly read and because of the blog posted by Dr. Tony Cartledge about his writing class, I have found some new and interesting ones as well. But whatever way I turn, I am reading something about dogs. Is this the season to get a dog?

My friend, Rebecca, rushed in to our Church History class on Monday afternoon with the news, "Let's hurry up and get this exam over with. I have a dog waiting on me to adopt him at the animal shelter."

Another friend, Jan, was perplexed by a request from her son about getting a new puppy. She blogged about it as well. Cute story and photos of the pup with his new owner.

But then I read Kristi's blog about her dog, Abby, that has been part of the family for many years and is now experiencing health concerns. If you are a pet owner, you know how attached we get to our four-legged friends, be it a dog, cat, horse or rat. (ugh)

We have three dogs. Earl, is a large Doberman that we adopted from the Brunswick Animal Shelter a little over a year ago.

Pickles, a Dachshund that belonged to the Stratton family before I did, and Maxie.


Maxie came from the Brunswick Animal Shelter, too, about 5 years ago. We're not real sure what Maxie's breed is comprised of, but we ARE certain it's several different ones. She was my companion when Patrick moved back home to finish high school at Richmond Senior and Daniel was in college at St. Andrews. I wanted a little lap dog to keep me company and one that would let me cry on her shoulder when I missed my boys.

Wouldn't it be great if we attached ourselves to the work of Christ like we do to our animals?

NEWS FROM PATRICK

I just heard from Patrick. We were able to talk for almost an hour. He sounds good. He is in the city of *******. Some of the others are being pulled out of ****** and will be in the surrounding areas for the remainder of their stay. The way things are structured now, there are 95% of their battalion in the city for defense purposes.

Al Qaeda is putting out fliers stating that they will take over the city of ******* on May 1st but Patrick said that's not likely since Al Qaeda is not an organized fighting group.

Patrick is now a gunner on an MRAP. This huge truck has a machine gun on top and that's Patrick's job. He said they will never fire the gun in the city, but if they are called to the field, this vehicle goes.
The city is so crowded people can reach out and touch the vehicle when it rolls through the city. He said there were some really nice houses and neighborhoods in *******. Gated communities and everything. The concern he has is that if a terrorist gets into the city, all they would have to do is flip a grenade up in the air and let it fall down the shoot where he stands. With the streets so crowded, they would never see it coming.

He is part of a group referred to as EOD = Explosive Ordinance Disposal. They are called to go out into the field when an IED or some other bomb is found. They go, blow it up, and come home (to *******)

The other section he is part of is the QRF = Quick Reaction Force which means if there is an outbreak of fighting, they go in with "guns a'blazin'" to quote him. I would rather he just ride around the city and make friends with little Iraqi children.

He is enjoying the goodies that have been sent his way. He said the fruit roll-ups, gummies, cheez-it grips, and snack crackers are great. He said the food wasn't bad but sometimes they are out in the city so he can snack.

The only thing he said he would like to have that he doesn't is something like a whisk broom and dustpan to keep their vehicle clean, so I will try to take care of that the first of next week. And more snacks. LOL

He was using the computer based phone card but lately it takes an act of Congress to get to use the phone so he's adding minutes to his AT&T card. He said they only get mail once in a while, but every time they have had mail call, he has gotten some, so thank you for remembering him.

I'll pass on information as I get it, which is sometimes longer than I would like.

(for his safety, I have bleeped out the name of the city)

Onward We Go

Sorry it's been so long, but it's been grueling for the last couple of weeks. I've heard from Patrick several times and he's doing fine. He's not real happy about where he is or what they are having to do, but he's alive and well and that's what I prayed for.

We've had a wedding in our family. Everything came off without a hitch, so this is good. The weather was beautiful as it was held on the beach so no rain for the day was a good thing. The bride was beautiful and beamed as she went from Miss to Mrs.

Journals have been turned in, exams have been taken, CPE is over which means no more on-calls, the PEICH paper is turned in as is the 2nd sermon and exegesis report. Now all that stands in the way of the last day of grad school is a Church History exam and a book review. I think I see the light.

My Senior Panel was today and what an affirming meeting that turned out to be. I had been told it would be just that, but there is always a wonder of what questions you will be asked and so on. It was wonderful. I didn't cry but I'm sure I will. Campbell is a very dear place to me and I will treasure my time there as an undergrad and a grad student.

All this to say, life is moving forward. I hope you are having a great day and enjoying the gifts God has given you. I'll be back with more on the upcoming graduation events in a few days.

Life Moves Forward

Now that I have talked to Patrick via the Internet one night and a phone call on Wednesday, I am more at ease about the whole situation, so now I can concentrate a little better on the fast pace of April.

Already it is April 10th. I have a counter on my Facebook page that counts down the days until upcoming events in my life. I know, for example, that it is 41 days until my anniversary, 31 days until Graduation from Divinity School, 29 days until the Hooding Ceremony and 19 more days until the end of classes.

The sad part of is, I can remember when the counter went to 100 days until the Hooding Ceremony. And that was just yesterday........in my mind. Where does the time go? I have been working on my final evaluation for the CPE program I have been enrolled in this semester and it seems just a few weeks ago, we started the program. Now it's time to end.

I'm 47 years old and even though that sounds like a lot of years, it seems like such a short time ago I was preparing to graduate from high school. Would I go back and redo it again? Not on your life. I have learned so much in the experiences I have had. It wasn't all roses, that's for sure, but it wasn't all thorns either.

Some of my roses are the friends I have made at Campbell Divinity School, the professors and staff members who will forever be etched in my mind, my peers and supervisor in the CPE program at New Hanover Regional Medical Center, and my spiritual development that has come as a result of those roses.

Life moves forward and it's not the forward movement that scares me. It's the fast pace at which it happens. May I never forget to stop and smell the roses.

The Day Has Come

I feel as if I have been to a funeral. I'm not sure in my 47 years I have ever felt so helpless as I did when the buses pulled away from the barracks this afternoon. My son is officially on his way to Iraq for his first, and hopefully his last, tour of duty. I would have gladly taken his place if there had been any way possible.

My oldest son had to leave around 3 so he could get to work on time so he told Patrick he had to go and to be careful. They hugged each other for several minutes, both crying and clinging to each other. I had to walk away. I had tried so hard to keep things together for Patrick's sake but that was more than I could take.

My sons loved each other so much when they were young, but as they grew up and got older, the competitions kicked in and they began to grow apart. Daniel, being the oldest, always did things first. He was the first to be able to play sports, thus putting Patrick in his shadow. Daniel was very good at anything he attempted and this put Patrick at a disadvantage having to fill the shoes of his older brother.

The year Patrick graduated from high school, they began to like each other again and their bond is one that will never be broken. It is such a joy for me to see them together and enjoying their time together.

Anyway, after he left it was all I could do to keep the tears from falling. But when the commanding officer yelled, "Formation" I got sick to my stomach. He hugged everyone and we all had our turn at crying on his shoulder and he on ours. There are not words to describe what I felt when I watched my son walk away with an M-16 attached to his body.

We got one more chance for hugs and tears before he had to get on the bus. He was on the first bus of 4, so it took a little while for all the buses to load. Once they were loaded, I watched the doors close and my heart sunk to my feet.

But nothing, NOTHING, will compare to the sick feeling I got and the crack that sprang through my heart when his bus began to move forward. As each bus began to move, you could see mothers and girlfriends and wives crumble in the arms of those who may have been a little stronger than those of us who were not. I will see those buses go around that curve for many weeks to come.

His agenda is uncertain at this point, as far as the military is concerned, but my agenda has just begun. Prayer, prayer, and more prayer.

Iraq Bound

I love a party, most of the time, but this past weekend included a party/cookout that still produces tears.

My youngest son, Patrick, leaves for Iraq this coming weekend. I used to could say it without tearing up, now I can't even type it without the tears streaming down my face.

We had a great gathering of about 35 family and friends at my parents home yesterday afternoon. Most of the guests were family but there were several of Patrick's friends from high school there as well. It was fun to watch them interact with each other and enjoy talking about the times they have had in the past. They talked like it had been years when in fact, it had only been a few weeks for some and only a couple of years for others.

My dad called the group to order and welcomed everyone for coming to Patrick's going away dinner and turned the "program" over to Patrick's girl friend who presented him with a nice computer to take to Iraq with him. Her parents, my parents, David and I and she had decided that would be as good a gift as we could get him so he could carry a little bit of home with him.

After he opened his gift, he told Amanda he had something for her, too. He told her that the next 7 months were going to be hard and that he was glad she would be here waiting for him when he returned. He told her he wanted her to have something to remember him by and he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Everyone there knew he was going to do it except her and we enjoyed watching her reaction and of course the two moms cried even though we had known it for weeks.

As the afternoon turned in to evening, the crowd divided up into various groups, mostly older and younger. But, I found myself having far too much fun with the younger crowd to sit with the older ones.

I wanted to be close to Patrick.

Everyone left and we sat up for a little while watching basketball and then retreated to bed. The next morning after the tables and chairs got returned and the breakfast dishes were finished, my mom, Patrick, his girlfriend, oops..... I mean fiance, and I watched some home videos of him and Daniel when they were little bitty things. Patrick was 2. I laughed and cried at the same time. Where has the time gone? What happened to that little boy squealing with excitement at Christmas, "Woooook what I dat!"

I hugged my son this afternoon, told him I loved him and I cried all the way home and have leaked most of the day. I will be in Jacksonville during the window of time he is to leave which will be Saturday, Sunday and Monday of next week. I will get to spend time with him but when he gets the call, he will leave for 7 months.

Please remember him and his unit and all our military persons in harms way. I know God will be watching over him but the thoughts of him being there is not comforting at all.

32-23-35

This past Tuesday was a great day. I had almost forgotten what it was like to stay up late to work on a school project, but I found out on Monday evening. I had a research paper due on Tuesday along with a presentation to the class on the research paper. Because I didn't want the class to watch me the entire time I was speaking, I wanted to prepare a PowerPoint presentation to go along with the oral report.

I got to Bunnlevel around 7 pm and after speaking to the folks in the house, I headed upstairs to get started. I realized I didn't want to use my research paper for the oral report, so I decided to write out exactly what I wanted to say on Tuesday morning. For some reason, this took way longer than I thought it should.

By 10:00, I decided I needed to go downstairs and put the potatoes on to boil that I would use for the potato salad I would be taking to Dr. Wakefield's house for our Senior Synthesis "party." After the salad was made, I went back upstairs to begin the PowerPoint. AT MIDNIGHT!!!!!

I'm too old for this junk. But by 2:15 am I was finished and satisfied with the outcome. However, I had to get up at 6:30 and my 8:00 class was the presentation. Needless to say, I survived and I am more than pleased that it's over. I was more scared of Dr. Harmon's questions that I was the actual presentation, but he went easy on me. Probably because EVERYONE ELSE ASKED QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, the day was completely downhill after that. It was a terrific day because I found out my sermon wasn't actually due this week but next week and it was already finished. How wonderful.

So, all this to say, the days are hastening by like big white clouds on a windy day. I feel like I am on my back in a hammock watching as my time at Campbell is drawing to an end.

32 days, 23 hours, 18 minutes and the hooding day will be upon us. Don't you love countdowns?

Falcons Anyone?

I was doing a little research on Falcons today since the Falcon man was at Campbell yesterday showing off his beautiful bird. I had watched Falcons on TV as they swooped down to pick up their prey and head off to the nest to enjoy dinner.

I began to wonder if I could train one to pick up select individuals and drop them in the ocean like maybe a teen-ager or a parent???? (Not you, mom. Call me for an explanation!!! :) )

After doing a little more research, I found out that these birds are quick powerful. The Falcon and its relatives: powerful birds, often the size of small hawks, they also have a black malar area (except some very light color morphs), and often a black cap also. Otherwise, they are somewhat intermediate between the other groups, being chiefly medium grey with some lighter or brownish colours on the upper side. They are on average more delicately patterned than the hobbies and if the hierofalcons are excluded (see below), this group contains typically species with horizontal barring on the underside. The tails of the large falcons are quite uniformly dark grey with rather inconspicuous black banding and small white tips, though this is probably plesiomorphic. These large Falco feed on mid-sized birds and terrestrial vertebrates, taking prey of up to 5-pound sage grouse size.

5 lbs????? Is that all? Dang, I guess I'm going to have to capture and train a pteradactyl.

Unattached Enough to Care

Sometimes I get a little concerned about myself during this whole CPE thing. I love it. My pager goes off and I get excited about the opportunity that awaits me either in a patient's room or in one of the units. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not thrilled about someone being in crisis, but the chance to be a comfort to someone is exciting. My concern comes when I seem to be emotionally unattached. It's as if I am picked up and set outside my self in order to be the strength of those in need.

I have had several instances where patients have stopped breathing and a Code Blue was called which automatically sends a buzz to my pager or when someone in a particular room just wants to talk to a chaplain. Both are opportunities that God has given me that I might minister to the needs of those who call.

Sitting in a conference room awaiting the doctor's visit that will bring the news of the death of a loved one is not a fun place to be. However, being able to wrap my arms around a grieving mother or father, wife or husband, son or daughter and praying with a receptive family allows me to feel God is using me in a very special way.

Are there right words to say in all circumstances? No way! I got run out of a room the other week because to the one whom I visited, I was perceived as the shadow of death and no way was she ready to see me. But, that's ok, too. It just allows me to realize the vastness of what chaplains have to do.

What shocks me more than anything about being a chaplain, is how you can remove yourself from the situation enough to be a comfort and stronghold for a family who has just lost a loved one or of a family member who has been involved in some sort of crisis. But, I think God has protected me to this point. My calls have mostly been to expected demises. It is still tough times for family members, but because I am not emotionally attached I am able to give them the strength through my faith when maybe their's may be weak.

I have yet to be called to the Emergency Department or any other department for the death of a child. That may be the day I crumble. But so far God has provided me the strength I have needed to minister to hurting folks. Thank you, God, for allowing me to do what I feel is what you have called me to be and for allowing me to be unattached enough to care.

Dang, Cars are Expensive

You know it's bad when your mom emails you and says, "I think it's time you posted a new blog. This is the only way I can keep up with you." So, here goes.

Last Saturday I realized my inspection sticker was worthless so I headed to Fast Eddie's, my regular stopping place for oil changes and inspections. I walked in and told the guy I needed my oil changed and my car inspected. He asked me if I had the registration card and I did, so he told me to "pull it behind the little blue car" and I'd be next. As I parked my car behind the "little blue car" I got the registration card out of the glove compartment and decided to read a little while I waited. I glanced at the card and saw that it expired the 15th of February. Not good! It was the 29th of February.

I started my car and headed home. The license plate place is not opened on Saturdays so I was going to have to wait until Monday. "Lord, please don't let me get stopped before I get this taken care of."

I was on-call Sunday so not only did I have to wait until Monday to take care of my car, but I was going to have to drive 40 miles to Wilmington on Sunday morning and back on Monday morning. Again, I prayed, "Lord, please, please don't let me get stopped before I get this taken care of on Monday."

I got home Monday morning and even though I really needed a nap, I drove straight to the license plate place and stood in the long line to get my sticker for my tag. Finally, it was my turn and I walked to the counter, presented my registration card and told the lady I would like to get my new sticker. She tapped and tapped on her computer and looked at me as if it were sheer pleasure to say, "You're car has a tax block on it. You will have to go to the tax office and get a receipt before you can get your sticker." WHAT????? A tax block?

As I drove 12 miles back toward Wilmington to go to the Government Complex where the tax office is located, I saw that my last name was not correct on my registration card. Could this be why I don't remember getting a bill for my vehicle taxes? Who knows?

I went in, paid the bill and came out with my receipt and was going to head back to the license plate place but realized it was going to be closed for lunch, so I headed home for a little bit. After having a bite to eat and visiting with my husband for a brief moment, I headed back to Shallotte. Again, I stood in a long line and finally arrived at the counter. I got the sticker, but I asked her why my last name was not correct. She said I would have to change it with the DMV. I told her I had done that a week after I got married (22 months ago) but she said I would have to do it with her and I needed my title. My title! I have it, but it's in the car. Am I going to go back out to the car to come back in to stand in line to have my name changed? NOT TODAY.

I put the sticker on while I was still parked in the parking lot and headed to Fast Eddie's. I walked in all proud with my new registration sticker in my hand and told the guy (not Eddie) that I needed my oil changed and my car inspected. He looked at me and told me that they were inspecting their last car for the day. They do inspections from 7:30 am until 3:00 pm.

IT WAS 10 MINUTES UNTIL 3:00!!!!!!!!!!!

I said, "It's 10 minutes until 3:00" and he informed me I should have been there by 2:30. I was ticked!!!! It's Monday afternoon and I've had no sleep from a 24 hour 0n-call at the hospital and I'm not real personable at this point. The young man told me he would be glad to change my oil but I'd have to wait for the inspection. "Nope," I said, and walked out the door. I went to two other places and no one could do my inspection on Monday.

I went home, called Black's Tire and made arrangements to get my car inspected this morning (Tuesday). I was there at 7:30 this morning. I'M ON SPRING BREAK!!!! And I waited 2 hours as they changed my oil and inspected my car. As they pulled my car out of the bay and parked it in their parking area, I was thrilled to know the process was over. It took about 10 minutes to pay the lady and walked out to my car. The idiots left my engine running!!!!!!!

I'm now legal to ride up and down the highway, but not without spending a small fortune and burning a half tank of gas.

I'm Scared!

Yes, you heard me correctly! I'm scared! That may not sound like a bold statement to you, but for me it's almost like admitting I'm really 47 years old. Admitting my age isn't really so bad except I'm older than David and he likes to say it way more than I do.

But back to the scared part. I have an exam next week that is a little too frightening to suit me. I've already had one this semester and it was ok, not great, but ok. I'm not fearful of failing Church History, or Senior Synthesis or even my Preaching class, but for some reason, I am terrified of blowing it in Theology. I don't test well with exams that consist of primarily essay questions and this being the one and only exam we will have in this class this semester, I must do well.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting this semester since we have to write this huge Senior paper and reminisce about our days growing up and more specifically, our days at Campbell. I have thought back to my very first test at CUDS. Old Testament I. Dear Dr. Jones. We had been taking quizzes throughout the beginning of the semester so I had a little hint as to how he tested. Or so I thought. He put that test paper in front of me and I about had a stroke. Everything I had studied left me. I sat for a few minutes searching my brain, hoping to be able to pull out the information needed to successfully complete this exam. After about 15 minutes, it came. Not all of it, mind you, but most of it.

From that day until now, I have feared exams. Elementary school, Junior High school, and High School were a breeze for me. Everything came so easy. Not so now. Is it because I'm older and my brain cells are dying away? Is it because I'm so wrapped up in life in general that I don't have time to study like I should? Is it because.........?

I think I just caught myself trying to come up with another excuse why I won't do well on this upcoming Harmon exam. Well, one thing is for certain. If I don't get off this computer and get to work, Tuesday will come quicker than I'm ready for it to get here and I still won't be prepared.

Say a little prayer and I'll get back to work.

Traffic Laws

Long time, no see! I am so sorry for the delay in posting, but life is catching me and passing me as the days go by.

As many, if not all, of you know, I am in the midst of a CPE internship at New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington. I drive to NH twice a week at least and then again when I'm on call. I've been amazed at the traffic infractions I see along the way. Now, again, as most of you know, I am not above breaking a traffic law myself, but one does learn after a pink slip falls into your lap with a pricetag of $145.

However, I drive through a relatively new development on my way which has new turning lanes. It's quite interesting but also very different than what we're used to. I think they call them Michigan turning lanes. You pull into the lane and make half a U-turn then wait for the light to change. This is pretty self-explanatory, right? Well, then there is the situation of a right turn. When you leave the Wal-Mart parking lot, you much make a right turn no matter which direction you want to go. Now, here's the catch. The red light is a red arrow which means, NO TURN ON RED!!!!!

So, I'm sitting in the lane, waiting for the light to turn green and this BOZO blows his horn at me to go ahead. Well, having just given the state of NC a little funding for traffic violations, I'm not keen on doing it anytime soon, so I sit there. The longer I sit, the more he blows his horn. By this time I'm getting the giggles and the man behind me is getting red faced. Because, you see, the folks in the other lane are turning on red.

You can imagine his frustration with me, but if he knew the traffic laws in NC, then he would be very patient with me ............ or use the other lane.

CPE

During this semester I am privileged to be able to participate in one of the most rewarding ministries I have ever had. CPE. CPE is an acronym for Clinical Pastoral Education.

According to the New Hanover website, "Clinical Pastoral Education is interfaith professional education for ministry, where learning is derived from the supervised practice of ministry. The foundation of CPE at New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington is ministry with patients, families and staff; We, as students, function in a pastoral role providing spiritual care to persons in crisis. This ministry is then critically, yet supportively, reviewed by our supervisor and peers in the training program through a variety of focused seminars." We are given the opportunity through reflection papers to review our ministry.

Am I excited about writing more papers? Not hardly, but this experience has been so wonderful. I attend the class portion of CPE on Thursdays and I do rounds on Fridays. I was given the 9th floor which is mostly surgical patients. Most patients are open to visits from student chaplains and will welcome prayer. Sometimes, you just know it's not the right thing at the moment. Learning the "whens" and "when nots" is part of the learning process, but being able to minister in so many different ways to a host of different backgrounds and cultures has proven to be so rewarding.

Next week will be interesting. I will be "On Call" for the first time..... all by myself. As part of your prayer life, please include me. I carried a beeper with me on rounds Friday so I could "shadow" one of the residents in case there was a call, but wouldn't you know it? Not one time did it go off. So, come Thursday afternoon, I will have, what the residents refer to as, the hot beeper for 16 hours throughout the afternoon and night.

The result should make for a great blog entry.

A Whole New Year

It has finally come. A new semester has begun at Campbell Divinity School. The chapel was filled with returning and new students and Taylor Hall was buzzing with excitement and wonderment. Excitement for those of us who were returning as we reunited with old friends and wonderment for the new students as to what they had gotten themselves into.

As we sat in Chapel today, Dr. Barry Jones challenged us to persevere. The words he shared today were as much meant for me as anyone. It has been a long road and there have been some rare instances when I thought about going about my merry way and calling it quits.

However, I have to remind myself why I'm here to begin with. This wasn't my choice for my life, this was God's choice. So, with a new semester beginning, I will continue to seek what God has in store for me and lean on the words of this morning:

Hebrews 10:36 says "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."